In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
