Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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