I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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