i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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