called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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