dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
