My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
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Since when is my name a synonym for head?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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