Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
