I'm so fucking centered right now
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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