I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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