Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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