Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
porn star boner night. come get it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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