Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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