he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
