What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
