I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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