Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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