I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize