So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
