he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
