Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize