So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
foreskin is a definite game changer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
