even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
