if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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