You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
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If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.