allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation