this beer tastes like vomit already
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
