Fine. I'll sleep in my office
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize