If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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