I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
