So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
