he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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