you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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