Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
