She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
