Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So much rum. So many feels.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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