They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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