that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he was CRYING into my vagina
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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