i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
