I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
