I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
