it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
