no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
