farters have to be the big spoon...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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