My hand turned me down
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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