Porn is love you can see.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
