Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
