if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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