beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
