She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
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Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
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Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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