She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
