i barfeds in our rink
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
