dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
