Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
