its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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