Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
