he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
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just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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