she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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