xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
