I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
