Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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