I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
