If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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