This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
