if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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