Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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