That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
