Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
