I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
