I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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