Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
