no, he came in my armpit
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
