Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize